Going to see Radiohead in a few hours---my first time. Will comment later. (I'm sure you're all excited about that.)

Listen up, Mike Patton fans: you probably already know he's got a new, more "commercial friendly" band out there now called Peeping Tom. Call your local radio stations and request the first single "Mojo". I know we Patton fans like him all to ourselves, but let's give old Vlad Drac his due, eh?

Nude photos are so ridiculous. that's not art, you cheaters and copy-cats. that's obvious, the nude body. been done eons ago, so stop it with your black-and-whites of tits and ass and penises and contortions in the right light.... the human form in the nude is obvious no matter what the reaction or medium; whether it's in Playboy, a Picasso sketch, or in my bedroom puking up cheap wine; whether its a judgement, an erection, a chuckle... that's NOT art! and those who publish that bullshit are just as much to blame. you imposters! much more interesting is a naked human body beaten to a pulp! now there's an untapped, inherent beauty that scares even the best of them! there's something constant no matter what kind of light you shine upon it! I'd like to see you capture that reality in your little studio lofts.....

Is it me or has Connie Chung lost her f-in mind?

Just read an interesting quote from Henry Miller. I'm posting it because i feel that perhaps 5 or 6 years ago, i felt the same way. And I'm not sure that i do now for various reasons, the first of which being the ever-splattered "canvas" of the Internet. A new art form in my eyes. So i post this for myself to come back to and ponder.... What do you fucks think?

"Aesthetically [Americans] are probably the most conservative people in the world. We have to have the blind staggers before we release. Then we break one another's heads with glee and impunity. We have been educated to such a fine--or dull--point that we are incapable of enjoying something new, something different, until we are first told what it's all about. We don't trust our five senses; we rely on our critics and educators, all of whom are failures in the realm of creation."

i want to crawl
back
into my
mother's womb
and use it for a
tomb, outside
i'll hang a
sign that
says:
no tresspassing.

I'm making public my last night's dedication to the two U.S. soldiers that were killed recently because Bush is a douche bag!!!

Pfc. Kristian Menchaca, 23, of Houston, and Pfc. Thomas L. Tucker, 25, of Madras, Ore.

I would like to say publically, that, because I am so thankful for your services gentleman (as well as those still fighting) - and by no means is this a mockery or joke, but very sincere - I went and bought myself and my beautiful girlfriend an 8-ball of cocaine and some alcohol. We indulged in the narcotics, drank wine and beer and did tequila shots. As we are both musicians, we then took our collective high to our digital recording machine and made music--created something (nothing more free than that). We then preceded to have sex in every way possible for at least three hours. Yes, three hours--on and off. And we still made it to bed by 12:30am. It was a wonderful night in Los Angeles for the both of us.

And here I sit now, the next day, content and thankful to you and the others for allowing me to have that pleasurable, memorable experience in the privacy of my own home. To you, Fellas! RIP.

In keeping with yesterday's blog subject... Did ya all hear that they finally found the bodies of two American soldiers that went missing last week? Yep, they found them alright, in the street, mutilated, tortured... An Iraqi defense ministry official said the men were tortured and "killed in a barbaric way." Al-Qaida in Iraq claimed responsibility for killing the soldiers, and said the successor to terror leader Abu Musab al-Zarqawi had "slaughtered" them, which, of course, means they were beheaded, most probably in a sawing-like manner while still alive. I can't even begin to imagine...

And we're going to punish our own soldiers for killing these types of barbarians, these fucking pigs!--during a WAR!!!

How about this scenario: Your battalion gets ambushed in the street. One of your buddies in your battalion gets captured. You survive the ambush but he gets captured. He's missing for days and then you hear they found him, tortured and slaughtered like a fucking animal. Next day or two you capture some insurgents and take them to the "detainee camp" or whatever. And you're supposed to like give them some bread and water or something?? I'm thinking you're pretty pissed off about what they did to your buddy. What these motherfuckers have been doing to American citizens and soldiers all along... and then the whole 911 thing... it's all going through your head... and how these men shoot at you... these strangers... and how they would kill you in a second if circumstances were reversed... all of this is running through your head.... and you look at them in the eye, and they look back at you in defiance... and you say to yourself "Christ, this is war... kill or be killed...." and you're out in the middle of the desert for God knows what reason other than that you're proud to defend your country... and then the image of your buddy being tortured and beaten and you wonder what the hell must have went through HIS mind... and how that could have been you instead... but he got it and you didn't.... and who knows, you might be next... and these arrogant, ignorant motherfuckers with hate and defiance in their eyes are sitting there murdering you little by little with their glares and their yelps and their bows and their brazen insolence and oh how they hate you....

What was it The Old Testament preached? "An eye for an eye", right?...

I sit here and type about it. a nothing man. while guys like these fight and die in the desert.

Thank you Pfc. Kristian Menchaca, 23, of Houston, and Pfc. Thomas L. Tucker, 25, of Madras, Ore. (as well as the rest of you who have fought and still are fighting for God knows why; other than what it means to YOU - fighting for your country's freedom - which is why I thank you). You won't be forgotten here.

Today I read that three U.S Soldiers - members of the 101st Airborne Division - have been charged in connection with the deaths of three detainees during an operation near southern Salaheddin province, Iraq. And i quote CNN.com: "A military news release said the charges in the case include murder, attempted murder, conspiracy, communicating a threat, and obstructing justice."

So, three of our troops are being charged for murdering THREE Iraqi soldiers ("detainees") who continue to abduct and BEHEAD any American they can get there hands on. All I can say about that is, only three? I sure as hell wish they wiped out the whole "detainee camp" before this stupid fucking government of ours puts them on trial!!!?? Justice my ass. I need to get outta this shit box! It's fucking backwards!

Man has demonstrated that he is the master of everything---except his own nature. We are all filled with MURDER. We loathe one another. We hate what we look like when we look into one another's eyes. Sometimes I even think we marry because that person can at least for now tolerate the hate in our fucking. One of the many murders committed in sex. Because hate and sex is all there is, unless you are completely alone, which is an entirely different nightmare altogether.

Intelligence and happiness do not go together.

True Story

they found him walking along the freeway
all red in
front
he had taken a rusty tin can
and cut off his sexual
machinery
as if to say --
see what you've done to
me? you might as well have the
rest.

and he put part of him
in one pocket and
part of him in
another
and that's how they found him,
walking
along.

they gave him over to the
doctors
who tried to sew the parts
back
on
but the parts were
quite contented
the way they
were.

I think sometimes of all of the good
ass
turned over to the
monsters of the
world.

maybe it was his protest against
this or
his protest
against
everything.

a one man
Freedom March
that never squeezed in
between
the concert reviews and the
baseball
scores.

God, or somebody,
bless
him.


- Charles Bukowski

I just want to be the first to say it: I recently heard an underground demo by a band called The VIP Lounge. I live in L.A. and my friend is an intern at a major record label and she slipped me the CD with her own critical acclaim. OH MY GOD!! This fucking band is killer! Completely original! Finally! And the best part about it is, that the band probably will never get played on the radio because it's not regurgitated crap!, which means only us true music lovers will have this band all to ourselves. Soon as I find out a release date, i'll post it. And don't any of you fucking frat dicks or sorority chicks who are still listening to shity acts like Blink 182 or Dashboard Confessional or The Offspring and all that bullshit even think about downloading or buying this record. This is for the geeks, the artists! I think I'm cumming!!!!!

A 24-year-old male stripper was stabbed to death while dancing at a bachelorette party in Bakersfield (anybody know where that is?). anyway, the stripper's dad, who always accompanied his son on his stripper adventures for security (if that's not weird enough?) got involved in a melee between several of the husbands who met up with their wives at the bachelorette party, after they left the bachelor party. then, they sucker-punched the poor stripper and knocked him unconscious; then they fucking stabbed him to death. Jesus H., this country is out of control. The collective rage among Americans is just out of control. The poor dad saw his son get stabbed to death, when HE was security. How about that guilt? As if the sorrow weren't enough. Also, the stripper had just asked his girlfriend to marry him that very day! The Hate carried inside by some of us is frightening. What is the cause of it? Media? The 9-to-5 thing? The government? .... Hate Hate Hate.

Hate, it seems, is the only thing that lasts.

I have been reading in fear for some years now (ever since Dolly the sheep) about when the cloning thing would become a common reality, an ordinary practice. That day is not completely here yet, but fuck are we getting closer. Harvard University is using PRIVATE FUNDS for stem-cell research and for cloning human embryos! This, to me, means that someone out there wants really bad for this cloning thing to happen. I find it hard to believe that someone would put up so much of their own personal money just to be altruistic, or to "save lives" in the future, especially when you don't even know if it works or not. So someone out there wants to go down in the history books, or maybe even wants their own Mini-Me (wouldn't doubt that for a second). And Lord knows that some people are going to get real fucked up along the way with this whole thing. That's inevitable. Whether you're a conservative or a liberal or whatever, this kind of thing can definitely take a scary turn for the worst. Still, that's the nature of man and of life, no? Progress! Always forward. At all costs! No matter what the consequences may be. You kind of have to appreciate that.

Alright so the Senate blocked the same-sex marriage ban---kudos you white frumpy dipshits. We all know the whole thing on both sides is politically motivated anyway. And, of course, The Bible is at the root of it, or so they say. So, I say: JESUS CHRIST, love is love and wanting to love is what the whole damn life-thing is about. You can't ban or make rules on feelings or intimacy... So a man wants to be married to a man. Lesbians, queers, let them love. They're not fucking or loving in your bedroom are they? God almighty strike down these politicians who make such ridiculous deliberations on OUR freedoms. Let the queers be queers. I would like to see one of these conservatives make a vote if it was their son or daughter who loved and wanted to marry someone of the same sex. You'd tell your own child his/her feelings are not real? That society is better off if they could supress that love?? That they are destroying the preservation and sacrament of marriage? You fucks, over 50-percent of opposite-sex marriages end up in divorce. so shut up and mind your own business. There's Americans dying for no reason in foreign countries for political power, and international political clout, and ONLY for such. And you Devils are sitting in an air-conditioned room telling us what the "rules" of love are??? You Devils who can't even comprehend the pain of being stereotyped as weak and different. You Devils who exploit the feelings of your county-men/women to meet your own personal agenda! You blind ignorant Devils!!!! And i quote our monkey president George Bush, the Devil himself: "The union of a man and a woman is the most enduring human institution, honored and encouraged in all cultures and by every religious faith." And that "union" is abused and broken everyday! You are divorced yourself you fuck but will not let it out while you are President. We ALL know you don't even sleep in the same room as your stupid bitch wife! Ah ha! Maybe that's a sign that it is not the institution of marriage that matters, but the REAL feelings shared by a couple---and so what if they both have vaginas, or each has a penis!! GROW UP ASSHOLES!!!!!! The fact that people want to love is respectable enough! You fucking politicians sure as hell dont love. Because my neighbor's son is being shot at right now for reasons he has no idea about!!!!!!! This is why I wish every single sole in America would never vote again. For, ultimately, the people who really care mean nothing in the end. you're just a vote to these wealthy apes! You're going to tell me: If i can't help but have feelings for someone of the same sex... if i know in my mind, body and soul that i will never romantically love someone of the opposite sex, but i can love dearly someone who shares the same genitalia... because that's who i am and all i've ever known since i was born... if that weren't difficult enough... and, the people who can't fathom these feelings, or so they pretend as such, are making the rules on what i can do with my own affections and personal NATURE - be it sexual or humanistic - that i should just accept them as knowing what's better for me and for society??? If that is the case, then it's time to get the gun from under the pillow and blow my fucking brains out! That's all there is left for us, the lovers and the truth seekers: Blow Our Brains Out!! It's only going to get worse! FUCK YOU, GEORGE BUSH! AND BETTER YET, FUCK YOU WASHINGTON DC!!

Everybody knows the song" You Are So Beautiful", performed by Joe Cocker who sings the fucking balls off it! But Mr. Cocker didn't write that song. Though he is famous by it along with a few others. Actually, Billy Preston wrote that song, and many others. Billy Preston with his fucked-up afro and fucked-up teeth and fucked-up quirky self wrote that TIMELESS song, among a slew of other great contributions. And he also played on many a Beatles record and many a Stones record (Exile on Main Street!!) and was a major influence to both bands as well as many other breakthrough groups. What's the point? Well, Billy Preston died last night. He was the original, the official, "Fifth Beatle"!!! McCartney will tell you so himself! Preston was so underground/industry huge that even Miles Davis wrote a song named after him. Preston was so big and so "in" with the Beatles' creative process that Lennon had him co-write and co-perform many of the songs that are on Lennon's solo record! His SOLO record!! Preston is dead and the world loved his music but only the die-hards actually know who he was. The world loved his pure idea, his beautiful outlook on life, his art and music; and the world was ok with the fact that they loved it and it could come from anywhere. And he was ok letting us think that way! FUCK RECOGNITION! He was so loved in the art world, yet so undisected and so underappreciated in the common world, in our world. THAT, as an artist, is the ultimate sacrifice! That, as a TRUE artist, is a genuine lust for life, a genuine submission to the muse and to creativity. THAT, is a complete defiance of EGO! Excuse me, but I will not be putting on any Billy Preston right now, because i wrote this little blurb and i dont know fully who he is to defend my public appreciation in such a personal manner. I didn't "follow" him or his career. Nor should you give him a listen if this stupid blog is news to you. You don't deserve it! Wait until later. WAIT. And listen when there's a chance that it will matter.

Well fuckers.... to day is 666. Im waiting and waiting and waiting for disaster! C'mon, anything: an earthquake, hurricane, traffic accident, dead relative, Satan, something... Ah, more and more bullshit, even on holidays!

Anyway, here's a random tip for y'all. For i toil not on holidays, which means no ingenious insight on 666!

TIP: Before speaking to a person with Alzheimer's disease, make sure to get their attention. Limit distractions and noise. Before speaking, make sure you have their attention. If that person is seated, get down to their level and make eye contact. IN FACT, if you can somehow inject YOURSELF with the disease, then quite a rapport may ensue! One fit for Oprah! Yes, aquire the disease yourself so that you can be sensitive, understanding and can talk about what's happening in fucking la-la land! . No no no, scratch that. Club the Alzheimer over the head, cut him or her up into bite-size pieces, cook the person, and feed the AIDS victims in your community... no no no... freeze the meat and use it for the next Church gala! Yes, we're only wasting time and money by keeping these people (meaning people who can no longer contribute to society) alive. We must elevate mankind. Rid ourselves of the weak. And, by saying weak, i mean people who offer nothing, and can give nor take anything. Too much time, money and effort kieeping them alive. Eat them!!!! Seek and become the Uberman! there's no coming back for them. You Cowards! You fucking Cowards!!!!

It was brought to my attention earlier today that tomorrow is June 6, 2006. This means that tomorrow's date is 666. Personally, this means nothing to me. The mythicism of the number, whether the prophecies (which we'll get to in a minute) result in truth or fallacy or whatever... My indifference is due mainly to the fact that, no matter what happens, if the whole shithouse goes under or continues to spin aimlessly in the cold black empty universe for eternity, there's nothing i can do about it. I could die now or wait fifty years to die. Whichever is fine. 
 
So, i accept all of it, sometimes gladly, other times weak and curious. therefore, let me die now and it's the truth about what i've done and so be it... blah blah blah (so how do YOU sleep at night?).... 
 
Anyway, we're addressing the biblical prophecies of THE END OF TIME, or the ARMAGEDDON, which is more or less the gist of the Book of Revelations in the Bible, and also the book that mentions 666. And again, it means shit to me. However, this is not to say that this book is not very interesting when it comes to the idea of its potential meaning, predictions and prophecies. 
 
First, i will deliver the passage in Revelations that, for the first and last time in the bible, mentions the number 666: 
 
"And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name. Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six." (Revelations, 13:17-18). 
 
There are many speculations about what this verse - and this number - means. and of course, i have my own. Also, i am not about to go into all the different theories of what this particular theologan says and what this other idiot says and what the motherfuckers in the condo in Philly say and all that bullshit... do your own research if you want to take in all that crap, because there's plenty of "insight" out there, i'm sure. i'm just gonna give you two things to think about, which i can't seem to get away from when i think of what the number 666 might connotate. 
 
The first thing to note about the passage is this: that "the mark" is the name of the beast, the number of the beast, and the number of MAN. To me, this means that man IS the beast. And, if you know your bible, this is perhaps due to the fact that God created man on the SIXTH day! So, we might even say that if God is "spirit", than the Devil is the proverbial "man." The beast who rules blindly, without soul or spirit. That said, what then is "The Mark"? And who or what is "The Beast"? 
 
I'll give you my first thought, a brief speculation, which may or may not be far-fetched. Perhaps the beast (the Antichrist) is already among us, and the Armageddon is already in process. This may be best explained by the words of T.S. Eloit: 
 
"This is how the world ends 
This is how the world ends 
This is how the world ends 
Not with a bang but a whimper" 
 
As Eliot suggests, it's not unfathomable that the end of the world, since we live in an infinite universe, may take a very long time in human terms, but not so long in terms of Time in itself. For example, the time that man has existed on the planet as we know it, relative to the time that the universe has existed as we know it, equates to about as long as a blink of an eye. That quick! Anyway, the point is, that the end of the world comes slowly, dispairingly, and we are just parasites feeding from and on the process of decay. I'm trying to stay away from this metaphysical bullshit, so i'll give you a curios example of what i mean---first, about man being the beast, and second, about the significance of that damn number and it's relation to man AND religion: 
 
how about this?---First, lets take into consideration the history of the actual number. We all know of the age-old numbering system of Roman Numerals. Stay with me. At this time the common language was Latin. Latin letters also represent numbers. For example, the letter V is also the number 5. So, in Roman Numerals, the number 666 is VI VI VI. In the Latin language, if you do the research, this refers directly to Vini, Vidi Vinci, which translates to "I came, I saw, I conquered." Starting to see what's happening here? Well, let's take it another step further... 
 
Since man began the concept of physical religion---namely churches, law, order, and community as well as collective control, there has been a HEAD of that "church". In Christianity, this would be the Pope. Since the appointment of the very first Pope (by the way, Julius Caesar was a pope prior to the birth of Jesus) the Pope has been declared the "Vicar of Christ." This term is nothing new to Christianity. Now, if you translate it back into to Latin, we find something interesting: In Latin, the "Vicar of Christ" translates to "Vicarius Filii Dei", which basically means "the chief steward of Christ". And we know now that, in Latin, like in Greek, letters are also used to represent numbers. . so lets "add up" the title Vicarius Filii Dei. Below, the letters that are also used as numbers are in caps: and the numbers they represent are directly below the letter. 
 
(Note: in Latin, the letter V also represents the letter U, as in VicariUs) 
 
V I C a r I V s f I L I I D e I 
 
5 1 100 1 5 1 50 1 1 500  1 
 
So, the letters representing numbers are as such: V=5, I=1, C=100, L=50, D-500. Now, take all the numbers above, represented by the capital letters in the title Vicarius Filii Dei, and if you add them up across the board you'll see that they add up to 666. WHAT'S MORE, my friends, is that if you read Revelations, the sentence before the above passage we are now addressing reads: "And it will cause all, the small and the great, and the rich and the poor, and the free and the bond, to have a MARK on their right hand or on their FOREHEADS..." So---back to the Pope, who, as we all know from modern times as well as historical, wears a big funny hat. This is called a "miter." The dictionary describes a miter as "the liturgical headdress and part of the insignia of a Christian bishop. In the Western church it is a tall pointed hat with peaks in front and back, worn at all solemn functions." And, if you look closely, the Pope wears his "title", meaning "Vicarius Filii Dei", across the front of his miter, and thus on his forehead! 
 
666, people! across the fucking Pope's forehead! 
 
"This is how the world ends 
This is how the world ends 
This is how the world ends 
Not with a bang but a whimper" 
 
I'm gonna leave it here for now. For now! Because, if you take the whole passage, including the pre-passage sentence i just gave you, you might be able to relate it to the fact (referring to "the Mark" and the mention of "buy and sell" and "identification of the small and the great, the rich and the poor...") that we are in fact, all of us, identified by a social security number, identified by the "system" by a number, a mark! United States law requires everyone be assigned a S.S. number at birth! That number is used for tracking and i.d.-ing. And, the problem of losing the S.S. cards or numbers is giving way to the thougt of implementing invisible tatoos as a more "convenient" way of NUMBERING people! The mark, the chip imbedded in our heads, not so far-fetched! Oh, yeah, and it may be interesting to note that now each I.D. includes the number 666 along with the social security number! (really?) Check it out! Just a thought. I'm gonna listen to Alessandro Moreschi now, the closest thing to God or the Devil I've come across in a long time! Maybe we'll do more on this tomorrow. 

there are hemorrhoids that have been following me around for God knows how long now. this pathological condition of dialated veins and swollen anal tissue. these PILES! they're all over the floor, the ceiling, the walls, outside on the pavement and honking in the street---piles of painful hemorrhoids bleeding and stinking. your mothers are hemorrhoids just like the cab driver, the traffic cop and the counter girl at Spudnuts. all of them itching me like crazy. and i scratch them till my asshole runs with blood but they only get meaner and stronger when i do that. still, somehow, somehow so irrationally, i continue to scratch them even though i'm well aware that the hemorrhoids actually need scratching to grow which is no good for me, but still i scratch until my asshole bleeds. fuel for the fire, you stinking hemorrhoids! your priests and dead ancesters and your parakeets and puppy dogs are all hemorrhoids piling in masses on my bleeding itching asshole! if anything, just to know that a remedy exists out there would be of some help. but i can't find one anywhere. no relief in sight. and my worst fear is that these hemorrhoids are here BECAUSE of me, rather than in spite of me.

Those damn Brits! They give us a lot---Shakespeare, Led Zeppelin, the Stones, Beatles, Gary Oldman, Kate Moss, and a few others. But man can they be retarted sometimes. In a poll given by British Hit Singles & Albums, an annual publication in the UK, 40,000 votes revealed that the British concensus for THE greatest record of ALL TIME was ..."Definitely Maybe" by fucking Oasis. I'm fucking speechless. Each voter could choose what they thought were the ten best records. and what came on top were those bickering queers Oasis. AND, they even come in again at number five! Jesus H., I can't even rant about this one.

Anyway, here's the top 10:

1. "Definitely Maybe," Oasis.

2. "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band," The Beatles.

3. "Revolver," The Beatles.

4. "OK Computer," Radiohead.

5. "(What's the Story) Morning Glory?" Oasis.

6. "Nevermind," Nirvana.

7. "The Stone Roses," The Stone Roses.

8. "Dark Side of the Moon," Pink Floyd.

9. "The Queen Is Dead," The Smiths.

10. "The Bends," Radiohead.


The fucking Stone Roses at #7? What the hell is wrong with that country?